Tuesday, May 3, 2016
Upwork's New Pricing Update
Upwork's CEO Stephane Kasriel sends an important email -- The working population as usual did a great job of outdoing themselves in successfully displaying ignorance, panic and paranoia because of the coming change without first seeking the reasons for doing so.
Read Upwork pricing
It's like the big man woke up one day and announced over the meeting table - "Hey, let's try something different"
As with most companies the change you just read in ten minutes then spent the next hour panicking about had to go through an extensive vetting process, months of deliberation, planning, cascading down the internal pipeline and determining the best release date.
Then they had to come up with a perfectly crafted message designed carefully relay the news and then to illicit the best responses - and of course this where the phrase "damned if you do, damned if you don't" conveniently slides in. Mr. Kasriel might have gotten the same reaction with sending a tweet saying "Hey f*ckers, we need to charge extra to keep the business model going. Deal with it"
In times like this, do you really need to spread panic instead of understanding?
As a freelancer, haven't you thought about deciding between two clients, one with higher demands, but low profit because the projects are few and far in between but demand a lot of meetings and upkeep, versus a client who, even if they pay the same rate, is a lot easier to deal with, work is steady, and payments always guaranteed?
When I read the email that got your asses lighted up faster than porn of course I reacted. But to be honest how long does it take you to earn $500 off of one client? One week? Even at the $3 mark that's a little over one month.
What about short term contracts? I thought about short term contracts, how the hell is that ever going to pan out? Or does it force you to change perspective? Maybe it's better to start building long term relationships with clients, or avoid them altogether.
And to be honest, isn't it counter productive to keep chasing after one-off contracts? Let's say the pay-off for each contract is $500 (so you can complain about the rate)- Then there's the fact that you're always scanning for new contracts, sending applications, chasing after interviews, prepping for them, onboarding, new rules, new interactions... When the same effort applied to long term hourly contracts, or recurring fixed price jobs can save you a whole deal of the exhausting effort I just listed above.
And guess what.. It's the same reason just from Upwork's perspective...
"One size fits all pricing is not ideal. Today you pay a flat fee on all projects, no matter how large or small. However, smaller contracts cost us more to serve than larger projects. The costs of acquiring clients, helping you connect with the right opportunities, and providing services like payment protection outweigh the fees currently charged for small projects. At the same time, larger, repeat projects incur fewer of these costs."
Upwork Pricing Increase Blog
And while earning your first $500 off a client can take as little as half a month, THEN everything goes back to normal, there's actually a bright spot ahead where you get %5 back from your contract... It takes a lot longer to accomplish, but rewarding. Isn't that worth working for?
It's how people react to the situation that separates people who are destined for success. Be part of that
#Upwork #Understandchange #kalma
Labels:
freelance,
freelancer,
rates,
upwork
Location:
Makati, Metro Manila, Philippines
Friday, February 26, 2016
Thursday, August 16, 2012
The birth of EATHOS
People used to tell me that you would need to put in blood, sweat and tears if you want to put up your own business.
Somehow it was a different picture in my mind, hire the help, hire a supervisor, put in the money and see it go up, then sit back, relax and watch the money roll in (Ideally... LOL)
But now that I've put up my very own little project with Vida -
| Back when we had lots of time to dress up for anything- this was taken at Bo's Coffee. |
And when the project started, I found myself neck deep in dirt, dust, grime, paint and a touch of stress.
I found that I haven't been home for the past three weeks because I'm so obsessed with seeing my little canteen perform from the time I flip the "Open" sign (metaphorically- I don't have a door to put up the sign) till the time I pull the gates closed (literally- roll up gates).
| Starting out (stress-free) |
| Ultra-stressed |
I have lost sleep- lost time for myself, haven't seen my apartment in three weeks, slept in a bedroll, cursed silently wishing people would get too drunk and decide to go home before 3am... I have gained stress, eyebags (see my photo with the videoke machine)
And I have never been happier...
It was a very happy moment for me when I saw the panaflex up for the first time- I stood back, sighed... stood back a little bit more, and sighed again. LOL
I've watched the tables get filled, and people who were once just new faces become regular customers- most I try to know by name or at least familiarize myself with their faces enough to know even if I bump into them on the street (Which I do, often)
In three weeks time, I have one customer who came in 7 days straight (how's that for loyalty to a new business), students who literally dragged friends boasting about the "new place", people wandering around and sat down with me for a cup of coffee and became regulars, students who brought in friends who brought in friends.
We gave ourselves a couple of months to expect a full house for lunch and videoke nights- but we got it in two weeks!
SO EATHOS WILL PROMISE- GREAT FOOD, A GREAT HANGOUT, GREAT PEOPLE... So please let everyone know what we have for them.
A pat for ourselves on the back--
More pictures to follow--- To be continued.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Miss Universe 1952 Armi Kuusela in the 2011 MU Tribute Video- in a Terno!
I have no intention of turning this into a missosology-inspired blog. But given that the moment I downloaded Miss Universe 2011 intomy laptop fate decided that the file play about a dozen times with a dozen of my friends in the first two days alone...
It was then I noticed that during the trip down memory lane in tribute to MU pageant turning 60 this year (I mean, come on... how many times can you go over memory lane when you do it every year- I'll need to confirm that though- MU devotees anyone?) that the picture they chose for then Armi Kuusela looked suspiciously Filipino-inspired.
A Terno! Interesting picture I might add, because it's what they chose, intentional or not. So it got me sidetracked searching for some more interesting pictures over the internet. The one I found that I liked best came from this web post back in 2005 (reference: http://www.missfloridausa.com/Faces-Places/Faces-Places50.htm
So a few other things- She wanted to become an athlete before winning the Ms. Universe Title, which she never did because of her duties. Met and married Virgilio Hilario in Tokyo, Japan 3 weeks shy of the end of her reign (which means she had to give up her crown right?). And she always thought she would live a life of quiet as a wife but instead moved around society circles because of her "duties" as a wife. Interesting how she always wanted the simple things but ended up doing the exact opposite.
One more thing-Back when she lived in the Philippines, she lived in Forbes park at the fitting "Millionaires Street". Alive at 77, she lives in La Joya, California which means "jewel" in Spanish with her husband Albert Williams. Interesting right?
A living legend. Proud that she treasures her time in the Philippines (she has a son Mikko Hilario living here). And so ends my curiosity.
To read up about her you can check her article out on http://www.missosology.info/forum/viewtopic.php?t=100369
And her message interview to the Philippine Star http://www.hatawbeauties.com/2008/07/message-from-armi-williams-former.html
Ciao!
It was then I noticed that during the trip down memory lane in tribute to MU pageant turning 60 this year (I mean, come on... how many times can you go over memory lane when you do it every year- I'll need to confirm that though- MU devotees anyone?) that the picture they chose for then Armi Kuusela looked suspiciously Filipino-inspired.
![]() |
| Armi Hilario-Williams (former Kuusela) in the MU 2011 tribute to history |
So a few other things- She wanted to become an athlete before winning the Ms. Universe Title, which she never did because of her duties. Met and married Virgilio Hilario in Tokyo, Japan 3 weeks shy of the end of her reign (which means she had to give up her crown right?). And she always thought she would live a life of quiet as a wife but instead moved around society circles because of her "duties" as a wife. Interesting how she always wanted the simple things but ended up doing the exact opposite.
One more thing-Back when she lived in the Philippines, she lived in Forbes park at the fitting "Millionaires Street". Alive at 77, she lives in La Joya, California which means "jewel" in Spanish with her husband Albert Williams. Interesting right?
A living legend. Proud that she treasures her time in the Philippines (she has a son Mikko Hilario living here). And so ends my curiosity.
To read up about her you can check her article out on http://www.missosology.info/forum/viewtopic.php?t=100369
And her message interview to the Philippine Star http://www.hatawbeauties.com/2008/07/message-from-armi-williams-former.html
Ciao!
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
The 2011 Miss Universe - Congratulations, Adulations, Online Catfights and... OPRAH?!
After the 2010 Ms. Universe, I was thinking the Philippines would have been hard-pressed to follow such a dazzling performance from Maria Venus Raj. Sure we were hoping for more- we always are. But dang did that girl made me marvel like no one else, and she did her best. I was set, she'd be a tough act to follow.
When Shamcey came up wearing the Bb. Pilipinas-Universe Crown, all I could think of was: odd name, too pretty, where's the pinay factor? Is she even going to make it to a finalist spot?
So when we found that she was part of the early delegation, my heart settled, this was from Jim, whose one of those people who proclaim themselves devotees of the Ms. Universe pageant- politics, inner workings and all, made it perfectly clear that being an early delegate ensures a finalist spot. Proven theory time and again especially during Venus Raj's time. I wasn't as excited as I should have been when her name got called.
Hope grew as she got called, time and again, "It's coming" I told myself as- bags of chips consumed and soda cans empty I was left holding on to my seat when the Question and answer portion came... her answer?
"If
I'm going to change my religious belief, I will not marry the person
that I love because the first person I love is God who created me and I
have my faith and principles and this what makes me who I am. And if
that person loves me? He should love my God first."
I was ecstatic. I was proud and dancing to a jig and I have to admit that for one moment the hopelessly optimistic side of me was hoping... against hope that we bag the crown this time, such that I was bitterly crestfallen, though smiling and applauding (to myself) when Shamcey was crowned 3rd runner up, a notch higher than last year's. In my book, that chalks up to a win.
I went back to sleep after waiting a few hours to download the footage. If you have Utorrent or anything like that you can download it here:
Ms Universe 2011 HDTV
Then comes of course the slew of comments- being the only candidate to answer without an interpreter obviously becoming the hot topic and why she should have won, and the catfights... AND the racist talk everyone could do without.
It was a really pleasant surprise to have the Queen of talk Oprah Winfrey HERSELF making such a bold statement going directly AGAINST the decision- taken from NBC News:
"I have reservations with the results. If the only basis is the Q and A portion, after having been trimmed down to 5, Ms. Philippines deserved to win. What made her different from the rest is that she had no seconds to rethink of her answer as she had no interpreter to break the ice. The rest had their interpreters and having breaks on seconds to think about their answers. Hands down, Ms. Philippines answered straight to the point."
Nevertheless- Congratulations to Ms. Universe 2011 Ms. Angola Leila Lopes. To the ladies who gave heart, mind and soul for what they believe in- worthy causes- and of course for all of the Pageant Connoisseurs- Where would they be without you.
Labels:
Beauty,
bloggers,
Ms. Universe,
NBC,
Oprah Winfrey,
Pageant,
Shamcey Supsup,
Venus Raj
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Remember, remember the 11th of September
Who would have thought that 10 years ago today... tragedy would strike - the likes of which remain unparalleled and quite literally changed America and the world.
I doubt if anyone would say they can hardly remember it by now, heck I can still remember my reaction from when I saw it on the news; the few moments of confusion when you're trying to make sense of what I'm seeing on television... this picture I found might be the actual footage I was watching that time...
And one of the first things that went through my mind was "Oh my God it's real..." and in that numb, irritatingly dispassionate way I always have of analyzing things, I sat down and started processing scene after scene of disaster. Interestingly enough, one of the first things that actually went in my head was - 'It doesn't look too different from a CG SFX" - I always thought if the ridiculous end-of-world scenes would happen in real life... guess CG animators were really doing a great job then, told you I had a screwed up perspective.
I found this memorial video.
9/11 Memorial Video
Around the world people reacted with anger, compassion, regret, anguish, courage, hope, resignation. A decade later people are still standing in the blight of it's aftermath, albeit dressed and turned into a symbol of strength as opposed to a scar of terrorism. Surprisingly I find myself thinking which part of me wishes the events of that fateful day never happened? And the part, knowing when wishes are folly, struggles to bear that such evil could exist and could have been any one of us?
And what about the part that agrees that things happen, good or terrible, and just takes comfort in the fact that humanity shows their tenacity and resilience in times of great crisis, breaks down self-erected barriers and unites factions and eradicates differences.
after all at the end of the day we're all just frightened children left alone in a world floating in an endless void... who else do we hold on to but each other?
I doubt if anyone would say they can hardly remember it by now, heck I can still remember my reaction from when I saw it on the news; the few moments of confusion when you're trying to make sense of what I'm seeing on television... this picture I found might be the actual footage I was watching that time...
![]() |
| Movie Trailer? Everyone thought so too... |
I found this memorial video.
9/11 Memorial Video
Around the world people reacted with anger, compassion, regret, anguish, courage, hope, resignation. A decade later people are still standing in the blight of it's aftermath, albeit dressed and turned into a symbol of strength as opposed to a scar of terrorism. Surprisingly I find myself thinking which part of me wishes the events of that fateful day never happened? And the part, knowing when wishes are folly, struggles to bear that such evil could exist and could have been any one of us?
And what about the part that agrees that things happen, good or terrible, and just takes comfort in the fact that humanity shows their tenacity and resilience in times of great crisis, breaks down self-erected barriers and unites factions and eradicates differences.
after all at the end of the day we're all just frightened children left alone in a world floating in an endless void... who else do we hold on to but each other?
Graveyard VS Daybreak, and why the REAL WORLD didn't work for me... pt 1
So Here I Am, playing with those mem'ries again...one year from saying good bye to the Corporate BPO world. This time seemed perfect to sit down and write about the things that have been going on. Perhaps I'll be reminiscing about it in later posts... but for now- A summary.
7 years in one company may not sound at all too hot on a professional resume. But lemme tell you that the story is a whole lot different when you came from the BPO industry, to put it in numbers, this paints a picture of what that would be:
- But there are some things unique to working in the industry that puts an invisible mark on your forehead that marks you as Graveyard shift personnel.
But working during the day has been a surprising but NOT at all refreshing culture shock... One of the very first things that didn't go right when I packed up my bags for a brand new day in a daytime job (In my head I was prancing around and singing "Good Morning Baltimore!!!")
THE MRT - it wasn't that I never had bad moments working graveyard, but everyday bad moments?!
7 years in one company may not sound at all too hot on a professional resume. But lemme tell you that the story is a whole lot different when you came from the BPO industry, to put it in numbers, this paints a picture of what that would be:
- 1,848 days of being up all night while the rest of the world was blissfully asleep.
- 5,544 cups of coffee taken during work hours just to keep you up all through the night
- 126 holidays missed... Or in my case 122, I did get to celebrate a few new year's eve holidays at home because I traded off Christmas due to my religion.
- About a thousand days of lost sleep because the world of course is ignorant about keeping quiet when you're the one trying to get some shut-eye.
- The eye bags... I'm thankful I didn't have to suffer it (thanks again mom and pop for the genes) but it's common enough to say I would've suffered it should I have been prone to it.
- 1 out of 3 fifteen-minute breaks spent staring off into space, waiting for your cigarette to go out before groaning and hitching your ass back to your desk.
- But there are some things unique to working in the industry that puts an invisible mark on your forehead that marks you as Graveyard shift personnel.
- The novelties of going home drunk in broad daylight because payday gimik happens to be a Thursday morning.
- Blissfully ignoring traffic news because you're NEVER in the direction of the heavy traffic.
- Having to endure stares because you're all dressed up in the middle of the night while everyone else is tucking away ties and rolling up sleeves.
- Worse, you got a spanking new jacket that everyone admires at work but earns you not a few what-is-he-thinking look from people who've never worked in the sub-zero temperatures BPO centers seem to favor.
- Being the first of a new breed of people who demand to speak to the manager when their fries aren't hot off the grill or when the cashier looks at them funny.
- The more you keep quiet about your job, the more people seem to ask "Sa Call Center ka ba?" hence leading me to believe that we do, actually, have that mark.
But working during the day has been a surprising but NOT at all refreshing culture shock... One of the very first things that didn't go right when I packed up my bags for a brand new day in a daytime job (In my head I was prancing around and singing "Good Morning Baltimore!!!")
THE MRT - it wasn't that I never had bad moments working graveyard, but everyday bad moments?!
- People say it's a constant struggle to get to work, but no one ever said that it's getting into the MRT that makes up 90% of the struggle. Pack light, stay thin and have nerves of steel when
- I find myself tucking my perfume in my bag since you never know when being squished against 4 or 5 peoples shirts so hard in the MRT would end up you coming out wearing all their perfumes a
- That given enough people trying to get in turns the train door entrances into a sort of walkalator- you can actually get in without having to use your own feet!
- That there's an air of magic to the carriage when you see a seemingly jam-packed train coming in... two people alighting and surprisingly accommodates six more.
- The most dangerous situation to find yourself in is to be the lone person alighting from said jam-packed train with 50 people wildly trying to get in.
- Fist fights occur in the trains during rush hour- what with everyone tired and all a sharp jab from an elbow can be all too mistaken as intentional. Downright uncivilized...
Location:
Scout Borromeo, Quezon City, Philippines
Monday, January 31, 2011
My first ever 15 minutes of Fame...
Well, it was more like 5 minutes... but hey!
Granted it was my first, but i really thought it could use some sort of system... like I really wouldn't have been a fan of waiting around for three hours for a five minute shoot... And I was surprised that the instructions were keep it native boy- because I was yammering around in English- they said it nicely and I did realize that it was for a "masa" group.
But I guess thats what the world of showbiz is all about. LOL
Unang Hirit!!!
Or just watch the video here!
I wonder if I could ever add something like this to my library in the future?
Granted it was my first, but i really thought it could use some sort of system... like I really wouldn't have been a fan of waiting around for three hours for a five minute shoot... And I was surprised that the instructions were keep it native boy- because I was yammering around in English- they said it nicely and I did realize that it was for a "masa" group.
But I guess thats what the world of showbiz is all about. LOL
Unang Hirit!!!
Or just watch the video here!
I wonder if I could ever add something like this to my library in the future?
Monday, January 17, 2011
Unfortunate Memory in an otherwise Great Day
I really do think life is out to get you sometimes, and for most of the other times you just don't realize because it's thwarted before you could notice...
My first trip to Cebu was very recent... June of 2010 to be exact, and we had everything planned of course.... not to mention the fact that there really won't be too much to see there if it ain't one of the grand holidays.so I got my pad and wrote a checklist: - History, sights... Food
the food was good, and the places fun... although the cab ended up smelling like daing the whole day (So there was wisdom in making this our last stop...)
What I couldn't get over with...
So, it's open practically everyday except for one day... Guess which day were we there?
My first trip to Cebu was very recent... June of 2010 to be exact, and we had everything planned of course.... not to mention the fact that there really won't be too much to see there if it ain't one of the grand holidays.so I got my pad and wrote a checklist: - History, sights... Food
the food was good, and the places fun... although the cab ended up smelling like daing the whole day (So there was wisdom in making this our last stop...)
What I couldn't get over with...
So, it's open practically everyday except for one day... Guess which day were we there?
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Should I Fall in Love Again?
Perchance I was browsing through some posts and bumped into one very interesting (and very hurt-sounding) profile
i fell in-love for 5 years, hurt, broken , stood up, forgets, enjoyed, kept away, survived... after 2 years, acquainted, opened up, believed, fell again, hurt again, broken again, standing up, forgetting... should i believe again?
Here's what I had to say:
don't... not anymore, if you think that five years of falling in love is wasted time if you're just gonna split up...
It's like saying life wasn't worth living if you can't have someone forever.
But the thing is, life ain't forever... and you're gonna lose someone REGARDLESS... might be because of distance, falling out of love, a third party... death.
If you haven't learned about keeping the precious moments, and times that are worth believing in, and keeping a relationship, and valuing it while it's there and in your hands to hold and cherish and keeping alive despite knowing losing the relationship. then it won't be worth it to even think about falling love again.
Monday, August 30, 2010
A Beauty Pageant - of Bestfriends and Late Nights
Stressed... Friday shift going saturday morning plus one client and then 7 pm event... all with just a little over 30 minutes of shut eye in between equals what people saw stalking the swanky Resorts World Halls on the way to watching the 2010 Mutya ng Pilipnas Pageant.
So, it was me and my best friend... being invited by my partner Jim to one of his events usually means going alone since he's working through the whole time, enter dudes who was pretty much in the same near-comatose situation I am. Which means it was a miracle I got him to go with me at all, what with him being all so busy with work and all.
I had a bad feeling something was going to go wrong... long lines and missing tickets... surprisingly we ended (For us at least) up with very great seats, good thing my beau happened to be stressing over us not having tickets and the lovely Sarah Meier graciously gave us her extra tickets! Big Thanks Sarah!
So there we were, just a preview of the night... Everybody's probably showing the pictures of the winners but hey, I'm just talking about a really cool night with great people, some really cool stars... Oh and a beauty pageant held in Resorts world for the very first time.
More to come!
![]() |
| Stalking through resorts world sans sleep |
![]() |
| San ka, just a bit behind the judges |
![]() |
| close ups please... make up by Jim Ryan |
So there we were, just a preview of the night... Everybody's probably showing the pictures of the winners but hey, I'm just talking about a really cool night with great people, some really cool stars... Oh and a beauty pageant held in Resorts world for the very first time.
More to come!
Labels:
mutya ng pilipinas,
Resorts world,
Sarh Meier
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Weekends
Just a few things a I observed during weekends
- it's never enough
- you work twelve hours on your last day and your not tired or sleepy
- it's never enough
- the next 48 hours become a blur... like you're wacthing TV or surfing and you suddenly think..."Satuday, Sunday or Moday?"
-there's suddenly too many things to do and all of them contending with the overwhelming urge to just sleep the entire weekend away
- I'm scared of letting the entire weekend pass away just sleeping
- you fall asleep and it's the most blissful thing you've ever experienced - after the initial shock of falling asleep for a whole day
- it's never enough
Me on a weekend - minus the worry lines and stress signs... something I wish I could wear to work
But sometimes, in between waking hours and groggy moments you just have to realize that weekdays are just as important... they make weekends all the more special - maybe the one thing I console myself whenever I hear about friends and people in general taking a "break" from work.
- it's never enough
- you work twelve hours on your last day and your not tired or sleepy
- it's never enough
- the next 48 hours become a blur... like you're wacthing TV or surfing and you suddenly think..."Satuday, Sunday or Moday?"
-there's suddenly too many things to do and all of them contending with the overwhelming urge to just sleep the entire weekend away
- I'm scared of letting the entire weekend pass away just sleeping
- you fall asleep and it's the most blissful thing you've ever experienced - after the initial shock of falling asleep for a whole day
- it's never enough
Me on a weekend - minus the worry lines and stress signs... something I wish I could wear to work
But sometimes, in between waking hours and groggy moments you just have to realize that weekdays are just as important... they make weekends all the more special - maybe the one thing I console myself whenever I hear about friends and people in general taking a "break" from work.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Surviving Accountancy
My sister has recently graudated... Third sibling to graduate from my own De La Salle DasmariƱas...
I was very surprised at her choice, knowing that it was mostly hell to go through such a course. Historically, out of four sections, only half of one will eventually end up graudating.
Something her own batch proved as well.
What I was really thinking was she would have done immensely better if she chose a different field.
Why?
Because I happen to know that she inherited the most talent out
of all of us siblings.
So I was all for her choosing something like fine arts, or graphics design.
But despite her own self-described roller coaster ride... I am so PROUD!
I was very surprised at her choice, knowing that it was mostly hell to go through such a course. Historically, out of four sections, only half of one will eventually end up graudating.Something her own batch proved as well.
What I was really thinking was she would have done immensely better if she chose a different field.
Why?
Because I happen to know that she inherited the most talent out
of all of us siblings.
So I was all for her choosing something like fine arts, or graphics design.
But despite her own self-described roller coaster ride... I am so PROUD!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Crossroads
In greek mythology, there was this story about a guy who was sworn to secrecy... about the king's ears being turned into a donkeys', his help being needed to disguise the ridicule it was sure to bring.
Unable to share the secret yet unable to keep it to himself he dug a hole in the ground and whispered the secret and later on covered up the hole he made.
Granted that at this day and age digging a hole in the ground in an urban setting is near impossible, not to mention downright ridiculous, I return to this place after nearly a year and one post later. Last year prompted me to find a way to channel myself such that I have a way of venting when there is no one to turn to.
Like now.
It's not that I have a devastating secret to keep, but I personally consider my own negative thoughts to be dangerous to both myself and others.
The past months have been pure hell as I stand in front of a personal crossroad.
left side - my work, career, corporate life that more than makes up a good percentage of my adult life - friends, family, connections and relations, pride in accomplishments, stability, security...
right side - the unknown, throwing everything away to the wind for the sake of what might be, what I also have always wanted to be, the things that I can't afford to do because of a 9-5 commitment.
left side - used to be everything I can boast of, stepping stone to the good life
right side - fun and satisfying, fulfilling to the self more than anyone else. but critically unstable
I want to try having some select conversations, who knows that maybe someone could talk me out of... or into the one thing I really need.
Unable to share the secret yet unable to keep it to himself he dug a hole in the ground and whispered the secret and later on covered up the hole he made.
Granted that at this day and age digging a hole in the ground in an urban setting is near impossible, not to mention downright ridiculous, I return to this place after nearly a year and one post later. Last year prompted me to find a way to channel myself such that I have a way of venting when there is no one to turn to.
Like now.
It's not that I have a devastating secret to keep, but I personally consider my own negative thoughts to be dangerous to both myself and others.
The past months have been pure hell as I stand in front of a personal crossroad.
left side - my work, career, corporate life that more than makes up a good percentage of my adult life - friends, family, connections and relations, pride in accomplishments, stability, security...
right side - the unknown, throwing everything away to the wind for the sake of what might be, what I also have always wanted to be, the things that I can't afford to do because of a 9-5 commitment.
left side - used to be everything I can boast of, stepping stone to the good life
right side - fun and satisfying, fulfilling to the self more than anyone else. but critically unstable
I want to try having some select conversations, who knows that maybe someone could talk me out of... or into the one thing I really need.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Frank Online
It's past midnight and I'm staring at a wall, I finally decided to take a shot at sharing my thoughts and not a single one would come to mind.
I look back at all the times that I've wanted to share something while en route or taking a break... Many a time did I cry because things would get so pent up without anyone to vent out to.
Not that I don't have friends...
My boss... but then again I can't really tell her how I feel about the other parts of work, like the ones that suck.
People at the office... great friends but not the ones I'd share something that would demoralize, or even make them feel that I'm not happy at work.
The love of my life... would listen yes, but I want to spare him the details mostly because I want to spare myself from the hassle of having to calm him down, He gets mad and looks so downright indignant that it just makes me fall all over again.
So here I am, finally visible online in the literary sense without a thought to share. So I swear I am going to have to make it a point to jot something down for next time.
I look back at all the times that I've wanted to share something while en route or taking a break... Many a time did I cry because things would get so pent up without anyone to vent out to.
Not that I don't have friends...
My boss... but then again I can't really tell her how I feel about the other parts of work, like the ones that suck.
People at the office... great friends but not the ones I'd share something that would demoralize, or even make them feel that I'm not happy at work.
The love of my life... would listen yes, but I want to spare him the details mostly because I want to spare myself from the hassle of having to calm him down, He gets mad and looks so downright indignant that it just makes me fall all over again.
So here I am, finally visible online in the literary sense without a thought to share. So I swear I am going to have to make it a point to jot something down for next time.
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