Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Crossroads

In greek mythology, there was this story about a guy who was sworn to secrecy... about the king's ears being turned into a donkeys', his help being needed to disguise the ridicule it was sure to bring.

Unable to share the secret yet unable to keep it to himself he dug a hole in the ground and whispered the secret and later on covered up the hole he made.

Granted that at this day and age digging a hole in the ground in an urban setting is near impossible, not to mention downright ridiculous, I return to this place after nearly a year and one post later. Last year prompted me to find a way to channel myself such that I have a way of venting when there is no one to turn to.

Like now.

It's not that I have a devastating secret to keep, but I personally consider my own negative thoughts to be dangerous to both myself and others.

The past months have been pure hell as I stand in front of a personal crossroad.

left side - my work, career, corporate life that more than makes up a good percentage of my adult life - friends, family, connections and relations, pride in accomplishments, stability, security...

right side - the unknown, throwing everything away to the wind for the sake of what might be, what I also have always wanted to be, the things that I can't afford to do because of a 9-5 commitment.

left side - used to be everything I can boast of, stepping stone to the good life

right side - fun and satisfying, fulfilling to the self more than anyone else. but critically unstable

I want to try having some select conversations, who knows that maybe someone could talk me out of... or into the one thing I really need.

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